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May 14, 2016

My husband had planned on helping my sister move her stuff into her new home in Jonesboro, Arkansas today.  So me being the PR person I know I can be decided to also plan ahead to work.  We all know my work consists of training mostly, so I decided to go to the gym my husband & I visited together before we were married.  I send out a notice via Facebook I was going to train not thinking much more about it.  I just wanted someone to train with was why I posted it, lame I know right!

As we roll into Jonesboro I see my alumni, my old school, where I got my college degree, Arkansas State University!  O! The fun my family had there at tailgates & football games.  I’m at the same moment preparing myself for what I’m about to have to do.

As I roll into the parking lot of the gym; I look at the huge building in front of me, and it is somewhat intimidating due to the fact in our small hometown gyms don’t look like this.  It’s not like I haven’t been in this gym a million times before, but it still intimidated me.

I first go in the women’s only weight room just to get adjusted. I do my stretching and a few machine weights in that room alone. I then noticed something funny to myself; 4 girls have trickled in, in the time I have been in this woman’s only weight room.  Out of the four girls that were in the weight room while I was in there two remained when I left.  The first girl did each machine for 5 seconds then left for the women’s locker room never to be seen again. I wondered to myself how could she possibly have gotten anything accomplished so I assumed I would see her again at some other part of the gym.  Another girl entered and she was in there approximately 10 minutes. I did pass judgment on her thinking the same as I did before with the other lady. Have you know, the second lady I met in the lady’s room, was up in the coed machine weight room. So I was wrong for passing judgment on her period she was there doing the same thing I was. Again, the second lady who entered the ladies locker room with me, was in the cardio area when I was up there. The girl that was on the machines for five seconds each time was never to be seen again.

I make my way down to the coed free weight room. Note I am the only female in this entire area. Given! that most gyms I visit, there’s always that one guy who wants to try to help you because he thinks you know absolutely diddly-squat about anything. I’ve become the queen of bitchery, so I always have a witty sarcastic comeback.

Most of the guys left me alone in the coed free weight room. But yet there’s always that one guy who seems to need to grunt like he’s constipated trying to pass a brick every time he lifts a weight.   Now I’m here to tell you he was grunting  excessively!  It wasn’t because he was actually putting out maximum effort, but rather he was trying to grab my attention.  Note again, had he been hot I could have tolerated the annoying grunts.    So to avoid this annoying behavior, I moved to the other side of the free weight room to do a bit of rowing action.  Rowing is the one thing I can’t do in my home gym so I was taking full advantage of this machine.  Here comes up Mr. Gruntfest!  After eight sets of rowing action; I then move back over to where I was at on the freeweights on the other side of the room.  So while I’m doing plate rows he then follows me back over there where I’m at.  He was like a bad case of herpes that I just couldn’t seem to get rid of.  I leave and go upstairs to the cardio area to do some stair climbing.  Thinking I had gotten rid of my case of herpes.

My goal in the workout was 17 flights of stairs. Guess who shows up? Mr. Gruntastic himself.  It took me 5 minutes to do 17 flights of stairs. When I saw him step up on the treadmill next to me, I kicked the level of the speed up about 9 notches.  Then I left.

I did what I came to do. I lifted weights really well I was pleased with my work ethic. I enjoyed seeing the friends that showed up. I did not expect anyone to show up actually, but the fact people did show up just to train with me made me feel fantastic!

Gentlemen, I have one bit of advice for you in the gym. To get the ladies, don’t get behind her or beside her and grunt every time you left the damn weight.  To follow her around the entire gym says you’re a stalker.

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