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As we head down the road with one headlight, somehow we got turned around. Please, let’s not forget we are flatlanders not hillbillies. We head the wrong way going back to where we just came from. It was very dark outside because there’s no lights in the hills & woods. We had 1 headlight trying to navigate these winding hill infested roads.

My husband looked down to his phone to pull up yahoo maps, & swerved across the double yellow lines in a small town we were passing through. Of course, here comes the lights and sirens. The officer pulls us over asking for all our identification. As we hand him all the id’s; he then pulls my husband out of the car for a sobriety check. A sobriety check was to be suspected seeing as he crossed a double yellow. After passing the follow the light game, the stand & count game, & 2 breathalyzers later he was deemed completely sober. My husband then preceeds to ask the officer how to get back to the bootheel of Missouri. He let’s us know we were heading the wrong way, & tells us which way to go. So again the four of us push onward to our journey home with 1 headlight on a Chevy Malibu.

Somewhere along the way, I fell asleep in the car unbuckled. I never can sleep in the car for fear of a wreck while I am asleep. I will also confess a small part of that is a biproduct of me being so controlling about making sure I’m awake to yell at the driver if I get my butt hole puckered.

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