look at the about me page please.

PERSONAL DIARY: “I’ve Been Away”

I realize I haven’t posted in awhile. So I figured I should do a post updating everyone. I know I usually make multiple posts in a week, but I’ve been super busy so it’s been difficult to post, write, & think.

I am the mother of a nine year old daughter. So I’ve tried to enjoy this summer with her. With doing so, I haven’t had as much time for blogging. I figure family time is more important than writing my blog. I have enjoyed every moment I spent with her this summer, but the rants and the attitude from her could have eased up a bit. She’s been gone for two weeks with her grandma to Texas. I realized how much I’ve missed her! I really do love my little mini me!

Penny, my shih tzu, recently has started going blind. She’s been my best friend for 15 years! With all the horrible things I’ve been through she’s always been my best friend.  Never can I remember her not being by my side or at the door wagging her tail because I was only gone for five minutes. Seeing her as I slip away from her breaks my heart as if it’s my own child. I’ve never realized I will have to take more care of her as she is like an elderly adult. I’m actually contemplating buying a papoose to carry her in like a baby.  I figure few extra pounds won’t hurt me it’s like a workout she can just ride along all day.

Recently in the last month had a friend pass away. He was one of my biggest supporters and my dearest friends. Brandon Edwards was a friend I’ve known for over a decade. He was a really good guy and a true friend. He was shot in a senseless act of violence in Jonesboro, Arkansas.  That fell the week of the Miss Street Machine Nationals and that really got in my head.

I’ve been bothered by the police killings. I have many friends who are in law enforcement as well as family members. It breaks my heart to think about some of these young girls growing up without their daddies. I know these men, they are really good cops and even better men. You know I call Dallas home, & I’ve been broken by the acts of violence that took place.  I have several friends in the Fort Worth/Dallas area that are married two police officers. It makes my heart ache for them!

On a positive note I did pick up a sponsorship from Inception Labs!  Great company and I’m so proud they believe in me! They found me I did not look for them and that tells me I’m doing something right for a change!

I’ve gained muscle mass in all areas. Another reason I haven’t had time to make posts is because I’ve been training pulling two to three a days. If I can get all the funds together God willing, I’m wanting to compete spring 2017 with NPC. 

That’s all for now and I will post soon I promise. I want to thank you for your continued support and best wishes to you all. And please don’t forget we need more love last night. The concept of One Life mattering more than another is ridiculous! If I can give blood and a black person needs it and they use it and it helps them then my blood is no different than his! Vice versa for police officers!


I’ve really gotten into foam rolling since I got mine from WOD Fitters.  I have noticed when I have back pain I can roll my spine, & then get my spine popped as if I was at a chiropractor.  I don’t recommend this by all means if you have not spoken to your doctor.  My husband works for a doctor & he agreed that spine popping through rolling can be beneficial to mine & his issues.  

When I do roll out muscles I must say it’s the best feeling afterwards.  In fact, I am about to go foam roll my muscles now for bedtime after I do this post.  It’s the best thing next to going to masseuse & getting a deep tissue message. 

Definitely worth your time in research & walmart has some cheap ones.  I suggest rollers with ribs or knobs.  They message better.  



I’m going to post random things you may not know about me:
My true age:32
I have 1 child-a daughter
I’m happily married
I love stunting sport bikes
I love drag racing
I love dirt track racing
I love to hunt & fish
I skeet shoot better than most guys!
My favorite orange: Cara Cara ot Halo
My favorite drink: Aloe Juice
I workout 7 days a week
I am an entrepreneur
I play softball on both all men’s league as well as coed.
I am a youth sports mentor
My favorite sport is volleyball
I’m trained in: many various martial arts
I love lifting weights and despise cardio
My secret guilt, I love flaky pastries & little Debbie makes me her bitch!
I have a pit bull, boarder collie, & shih tzu.


PERSONAL DIARY: “Changes Yet Again”



As you can see I am pretty lean right now because this picture was taken today.  I was prepared for the Miss Street Machine Nationals in Duquoin, Illinois. That was going to be tomorrow at 2:30 p.m., but plans have changed yet again. You know I love it when plans change! 

I had registered with the Miss Street Machine Nationals. Then one thing after another seemed to fall apart. The air goes out on both of my vehicles. My friend volunteers to drive his Dodge extended-cab pickup truck with air. Then his air goes out on his pickup also. I was going to have have a spray tan, so the thought of driving four and a half hours into Illinois  seemed ridiculous. My tan would have melted off by the time I got there. 

I guess the thing that made me decide to change my mind was when I watched the weather last night. My worst fear was my tan melting off, but then I find out it’s going to rain up there at the time of the competition.  At that point I realized it was pointless to even go. So I decided not to go.

It would have been fun to go and see 3,000 hot rods. It would have been great practice for posing for NPC. It just didn’t seem worth it for my point of view. I also got the opinion of my good friend Brittany Lynn from Las Vegas, Nevada. She agreed it was pointless to go.

So I did a mini prep for nothing, but then again a good practice for discipline and willpower.  I slimmed up a bit in the process, & so I’m pretty well good to go on bikini season at the pool! 

I’m not bummed, everything happens for a reason, and this just wasn’t meant to be.




PERSONAL DIARY: “Last Minute Changes”


Everyone knows how life can be.  Life is so effing stressful it can make you want to rip your hair out.  Besides the normal small town immature drama, I have had a competition drop in my lap at the last minute. 

The competition will be at the Street Machine Nationals in DuQuoin, Illinois this Sunday at 2 pm.  $250 for first with crown, sash, & trophy.  $150 for second with a trophy.  $100 for 3rd & a trophy.  National magazine coverage at this event, & I have viewed the website linked above in blue, & the event looks badass!  If anything it will be fun! 


I blurred last year’s winners faces seeing as I don’t have their permission to post this.  Everyone knows I’ve been on a cycle of gaining.  I feel in no way prepared!  I have decided to cut carbs till Sunday night, & that makes me grumpy!  I’m sure my husband & daughter would love to elaborate on this issue.  So we won’t ask….
I’ve suddenly been thrusted into a bikini competition I was in no way prepared for.  We know how bad I am with OCD and my perfectionism, & it can be both a flaw as well as a strength.  Now I’m stressing.  I’m working on posing, and I realize it isn’t a NPC event.  I figure it’s practice for me. 

I find myself faced with anxiety with a moral decision I’ve made about this contest.  I will NOT shake my rump or sexually promote anything.  I will be posing and keeping myself classy.  In Texas I did participate with friends of mine at several local nonregulated bikini contests that also paid cash.  They did a dance section.  I’m not hating on anyone who does this kind of contest, but I do have a 9 year old daughter looking up to me as an athlete not a sexual object.  I will not show her sexual moves are ok just to win.  A true athlete, who has fans of a young age, needs to have a certain line they will not cross.  I’m treating this as I would a NPC regulated bikini class competition event.  Pictured below in a Texas contest, wear you shook your ass…..



It is a scored event, so this eases the anxiety.  I still though, in the back of my mind think there’s going to be that one girl who tries to be sexy.  Then the judges buy that crap, & she will win.  Bummer right?!  In the end, if I lose at least I know I did it with class, poise, beauty, & a bangin body!

Look at the above pic, I had to Google pretzel suits….. lame I know! LOL

I will be leaning out, hydrating & then dehydrating, fasting, cardio, & small weight training 3 times a day all week till saturday.  Saturday I get my airbrush tan at Sunsplash Tanning located in Kennett, Missouri. 

Until then I’ll keep you posted!  Thank you for your continued support!



The Arkansas State Trooper left my hospital room.  I know the look on my face had to say it all.  I looked at my mother & apologized for the words I had used.  She understood why I would be so upset.  I mean, hell, I have been sober for a long time!  It was just insulting, but to know I was asked about something I knew wasn’t in that car made me livid.  I knew my friend wasn’t doing that kind of stuff,  & we sure as hell weren’t.  Sounds like a fishing expedition to me. 

I had just got telling my mother I wish I could be given a urine test to prove I’m clean when the next bad vibe came bursting in my hospital room.  In my mind I’m internally thinking what the hell?  More!?  I went to school for social work.  I know a child protective services worker when I see one.  Again, internal monolog kicks in, what fuck are they doing here!?  Poker face on, daddy raised a soldier.  I got asked about the meth again.  At this point I asked if I could please take a piss test.  I looked at my mom and said this is the only to make this proof worthy so this stops now!  They gave me my urine cup, & due to the iv fluids my bladder was full!  I filled that freaking cup up!  I slammed it on my table while holding onto my iv rigging that I had to roll everywhere.  He responds we will see in a few moments what you’re on in a snarky way, like he knew I was guilty.  Let me tell you, nothing better than knowing it isn’t going to pop for anything so you smerk your smile all the way through the wait.  Can you imagine the disappointment when it came back negative?  I give a chuckle and said get out of my room!  He snips back at me with a I’ll be back.  I respond, “I’m sure you will. ”


All I can say is wow at that point.  Does the picture above look like a family that lives that kind of lifestyle?  The nerve of those people.  I’m wondering where is all this meth talk coming from.  I begin discussing it with my mother, & she can’t figure it out either. 

To this day we have never figured out why the questions of meth was involved with this ordeal.  I can tell you it felt good to be able to say I’m sober and prove it! 

More questions remained in my mind.  As time ticked on I began to get more questions in my mind, & what I didn’t realize was so did my parents & my hubby’s mom. 


PERSONAL DIARY: Super Stoked About My Gains!



I realize to some small minded folk it looks like I’m saying look at my ass.  I’m no idiot  I know you’re looking.  While you’re looking I want to take the time to point out the obvious.  I realize that the left is way more toned.  I felt I needed way more mass I was starting to look like a toothpick.  The right side is 6 months later.  I’m currently toning the mass I’ve gained.  I have nothing to be upset by by any means.  I’ve lost & gained neither of which are easy!


2011….. A size 16 & Sunday morning church.  With me is my daughter.  Boy! She was so small, & how time has flown!


To think in 2012 I felt I had lost a ton of weight.  15 lbs to ne exact!  I started at a size 16.  My goal was a size 5, & I thought that to be an unrealistic size to shoot for.  Imagine my surprise when I ended up a whopping 0. 

It hasn’t been easy but totally worth every last drop of blood, sweat, & definitely tears!



My friend’s mother died of brain cancer a couple months back. She was given four weeks to live. I got to thinking about what it must be like to only be given a certain amount of time to live, and know that the death date would be right around the corner. 

If I was given 6 months to live what would I do differently? If you were given 6 months to live what would you do differently? Would you have the same job? Would you still be worried about the silly things you worried about now? Why do we need an announcement from death on our door in order to live? Why does death need to find us in order for us to decide to want to live? Most importantly, why do we need death to remind us to live with integrity? 

Most of us live a lie. When you have not structured your life so that it can have meaning and value for you, you will be willing to throw away your life for literally anything.


Whether it’s drugs, alcohol, a job you hate, or a relationship that’s wrong for you; if you have no meaning in your life those things can become a reality.  You act out of mediocrity for so long it begins to define who you are.  Those horrible things should never define a person.  Everyone fears change.  I myself, hate change.  I live by my planner, so if you’re not written in it ain’t going to happen!  Not to mention, since the car accident my memory isn’t what it used to be. 

Most people stay at jobs they’re miserable at for the simple fact that the fear of changing jobs over rules their drive.  Some people stay in unfullfilling relationships that are so wrong in so many ways for them because the fear of being alone outweighs the obvious. 


Sometimes in order to see the daisies that life gives us we have to be willing to change.  A person must be willing to change the city they live in, change the friends & bad influences they surround themselves with, change their relationship status for the better life for themselves, or the job that makes them not want to rise up in the morning in order for them to feel fulfilled. 

If it doesn’t add to your life, why waste your time on it?  Life isn’t promised to us in manner.  Why do we need death to come knocking ar our door for us to live with fulfillment & happiness.  Fear not change.  Fear the life of the mediocre.  To live in misery is to live within the hell you call life.  Life is not hell, life can be a beautiful thing once the kettlebell of fear is removed from your belt.  Don’t miss a great life changing moment because you feared what COULD happen. 

MY OPINIONS: Why Do We Fail?


How easy is it for us to blame everyone and everything that’s wrong in our own lives?  We look around ourselves and we find that we are unhappy with the life that only we chose to create.  Then there are those that look down on you for being successful and happy and they are the ones that are unhappy with their own lives.  There is such a thing as being a great and positive person with the best of intentions towards everyone and everything, and then stuff gets rough and you can’t seem to catch a break.  Who doesn’t this happen to? I know what happens to me on a daily basis.  One minute things are great and you’re in heaven, and then the next minute it seems like your life is hell.

If you look for pain, dysfunction, drama, being broke, and struggling that means you have looked for every excuse in the book to why you’re not successful.  It’s not your childhood or the environment you grew up in because I know some of the most successful in America, & those people are people that have grown up in the worst shitholes of America.  Don’t be that lazy bum person that’s full of excuses as to why you’re not winning. You are the only reason you’re not winning in life.  This blog isn’t to tear you down, but rather open your eyes.

You can do the same thing over and over and over again expecting different results, but five years later you will still be where you are today.  The other option to that horrible situation is that you look up at the mountain in front of you. You can start today to climb that mountain and eventually reach its peak. Maybe not now, but definitely!

I know it’s not easy. Nothing good ever came easy. I’ve been told that my dreams are pipe dreams and that I cannot achieve my dreams. I’ve been told there’s no possible way to achieve my goals and that the things in life that I want I will never be able to do or have.  Why? Because your dream died? Mine shouldn’t live? Oh! But my dream will live!  I’m going to fight back for what I believe in, what I want to achieve, my own dreams, and my goals. I’m not just fighting for myself! I’m fighting for my friends, my family, and I will make certain I will fight back!

See, the crazy thing about greatness and being a champion, is that no one expected anyone to make it. In that same breath I go out, and I do it anyway just to prove them wrong.  Greatness isn’t about having money. Greatness is about the achievements, about doing something great for others, doing stuff when others doubt it, it’s about listening to the doubters, and making those doubters eat their words.  Today and each and every day hereafter is the day I will walk all over my enemies. I will reach that moment in my life when I become that person that others can look to and say she went through it and I can do it too.  As humans we feed off one another. As humans we tend to look up to someone that’s great like they’re special, but they’re just like everyone else. Everyone is imperfect.  Even I have people that I look up too, so that means each and everyone of you are exactly like me.

Each day I’m tested by life in a like manner. If I persist and I continue to try to move forward I will succeed!  I’m not a sheep needing prodded by my shepherd. I’m alone, and I don’t live or lie down with the sheep. 

I will not hear those who weep or complain. For those who weep and complain are a disease, and that disease is contagious. Let them join the sheep with the rest of the flock. This is not a house of failure, and I will persist until I succeed! Never will I consider defeat even though I know it will happen.  When defeat finds me it will not define me, and it will make me stronger.  The words I can’t or impossible are simply words of fools. Those foolish words will simply be ripped from my vocabulary forever.

I will toil forever and always keeping mine eyes on the gold and the prize at the end of the road.  I know from where the driest desert ends, the new world will arise for myself. I will try again and again defeating each obstacle. I’ll consider every obstacle and derailment a mere detour and challenge to my own profession.

Don’t let the biggest enemy be the enemy within your own mind. I know for myself my own mind is my worst enemy. Whether it’s working out, cleaning the house, or just doing something stupid I have to be the hardest person on myself. I really don’t even give my husband the opportunity to get all over me for anything because I’m so hard on myself.  I’ve slowly come to realize that I am my own enemy half of the time. The other half comes from the BS you put with from everyone else.

As I have said at the end of some of my other post… in the Cowboys locker room it says be your best regardless of the circumstances!

Create a free website or blog at

Up ↑